I have to admit that I am feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight. I mean sure, I did just spend pretty much my entire weekend watching way too many romantic movies. I’m sure any single girl would feel depressed after having a weekend like mine. I watched on the big screen the kind of love stories that cause your black mascara to stream down your cheeks, snot to drip from your nose, and uncontrollable sniffling that would make anyone sitting near you think that you have some sort of incurable virus. I’m talking about the kind of romantic films where the guy shows up in the last scene confessing to the girl that he loves her, that he’s always loved her, and that he wants nothing more than to be with her….<insert song: Don’t You (Forget About Me) here>
I find the whole thing to be sickening, quite frankly. Not because I don’t enjoy these love stories that are being portrayed. Because I do. I really do! I heart them, in fact. But I find them so difficult to watch because this kind of fairy tale stuff NEVER happens to me (or to you for that matter). I mean, seriously. I have been waiting for 30+ years for some boy to tell me that I complete him. And it hasn’t happened yet.
Perhaps it makes sense to review some of the boys in my current dating circuit. As you know, the most recent guy I am dating is a married man. I mean sure. He’s technically “separated”, on his way to getting a divorce. But still, at the end of the day he’s married to some other women. So, I can’t exactly expect him to tell me that he’s been waiting his whole life to meet a girl like me. Because let’s face it. He probably already used that line on his current wife. And maybe he’s still using it on her. Who knows? After all, he is married.
And then…there’s the love of my life (LOML) who lives New York City. I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is. I love him….
LOML makes me laugh when we’re together, he pays for our meals, and he sings to me when we’re in public (even though he’s completely tone deaf). He holds the door open for me, loves to cuddle and hold hands, and probably even enjoys long walks on the beach (even though we have never actually done that together before). Seriously, everything about LOML is perfect…except for the fact that he lives 3,000 miles away…and we don’t have any sort of plans to be with each other or see each other any time soon.
And, to be perfectly honest, LOML and me don’t really talk to each other, or write each other…all that much. I think at this point, I can safely assume that LOML isn’t going to show up at my doorstep this New Years Eve telling me, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible”. I have a hunch about this one. I just don’t see this scenario playing-out like I want it to.
And it certainly didn’t help matters much, after sitting in a movie theater all day, and watching all of these romantic films, that I had no voicemails, emails, or text messages waiting for me when I turned on my phone. Even a simple “hello” from my married boyfriend would have been nice. Then at least there could have been the possibility of someday saying to him that “he had me at hello”.
What single girl wouldn’t feel sorry for herself after spending a weekend watching these romantic movies? I just can’t help but wonder, when is it going to be my turn to have a fairy tale ending?
After all… I am just a girl, wanting nothing more, but to stand in front of a boy, and have him ask her to love her. Is that too much to ask for???