With Pan Am premiering tonight on ABC, a TV show about what it was like to be a stewardess circa the early 1960s, I figured what better time than now to discuss how to flirt on an airplane. Meeting a man on an airplane isn’t quite as easy as it seems. As I am sure that many of you are not aware, there is a lot of prepping and planning that must take place in order for the matchmaking process to go smoothly. Some girls just assume that it’s merely luck that brings two people together on a plane. But trust Dean. There’s a lot more to it than just luck. If you want to meet a man on a plane, you can’t just sit back and enjoy the flight. Unfortunately, you have to experience at least a little bit of turbulence in order to find love in the air.
In order to find a match on a plane, the first thing that you must do is prep work. Now when I say “prep” I am not just talking about making sure your hair is blown out, your nails are freshly manicured, and your face is flawlessly made-up. All of that prep work goes without saying. What Dean is talking about here is the act of scoping out your potential airplane partner before even stepping foot onto the plane.
Take a seat in the boarding area and begin to search for any potential dating prospects. During this “prep” phase, it is important that you determine who your target man is going to be while in flight. Things to keep in mind while scoping out the boarding area: you want to select a man who is sitting alone in the airport and preferably someone who is not wearing a wedding band. Also, if a man is seated alone in the airport but has a piece of girlish-looking luggage near him, assume that he is taken. His girlfriend (or wife) is most likely in the ladies room.
Once you have selected your target man, the next crucial step is to get noticed by him. (Again, you want to do this while you are still in the airport and before you board your flight.) A great way to get noticed is to stand directly in front of him and do something flashy that will undeniably make him aware of your presence.
Last Sunday, while I was at LAX, I targeted a very handsome, dark-haired man who was seated alone in the boarding area working on his iPad. I walked over toward his direction and stood directly in front of him, pretending to be completely occupied by my iPhone. And just like clockwork, within seconds of me positioning myself in front of him, an obese man who was exiting the aircraft knocked me over onto the ground. As I fell to the ground, nearly having the wind knocked out of me, my target man immediately jumped out of his seat to assist me.
“Are you okay?” My target man asked looking as though he was trying not to laugh.
“Yes. I am fine.” I said, wanting to feel embarrassed but instead feeling extremely pleased with myself that my plan was working so well.
“Well that guy certainly knocked you down hard!” He said.
“He sure did.” I said. “But I’m sure I’ll survive the blow.” I then walked back to my seat in the airport feeling both optimistic and proud of my bold effort to get noticed.
As you can see, Dean obviously put her life at risk by getting in the path of a very large man. (Note: Dean does not recommend this strategy for all girls. This act is only recommended for girls who are experienced daters. As you know, Dean is a non-certified dating advice expert. Her unparalleled dating skills enable her to perform impressive acts such as this.)
If you are not an experienced dater, have no fear. There are equally good ways to get noticed in an airport that are not as risky as getting plowed down by a fat man. You can always drop your book on the ground, talk loudly on your cell phone, or simply ask your target man to watch your bags for you as you step away to stare at him from another part of the room. Remember, if you are not a dating expert, use the flirting techniques that you feel most comfortable with.
Boarding the Aircraft
Now it’s time to board your flight. In this phase, it is crucial that you board the plane before your target man does. Boarding before him allows for you to watch your target man while he boards the flight which ultimately buys you time. There are a number of things that you can do to make your presence known to him once he arrives on the plane. You can offer to help him with his luggage, simply smile at him as he passes you by, or put your foot in the aisle as he is walking by and gently trip him. All of these tips are great ways to initiate a conversation between you and your target man.
Last week, I made sure to board the flight before my dark-haired target man. My carry-on bag was already securely placed below the seat in front of me and my seatbelt was already fastened by the time my target man approached my row.
“Hey! You’re the girl that got knocked over in the airport!” My target man said to me as he lifted his suitcase into the overhead bin above my seat.
“And you’re the guy who saw me get knocked over!” I said. Feeling quite proud that my plan had been so effective.
He laughed as he took the seat next to me. And I knew right away that the friendly skies were about to get a whole lot more friendly…
Cleared for Take Off
Now it’s time for the plane to take off. And by this time you should have already had at least one conversation with your target man (if not more). A great way to keep the conversation going strong is to immediately pull out the “Sky Mall Magazine” (which is located in the seat pocket in front of you). Before the plane even begins to lift off the ground, start to casually skim through the pages of the magazine. Dean guarantees that he will most definitely take notice, especially when you land on a page with interesting electronics! (Note: All boys love technology and gadgets.) In no time, you’ll soon see that the two of you will begin flipping through the pages of the magazine together, joking back and forth about the items that you would buy for one another. This is a sure way to keep the relationship going strong before the plane ever reaches its cruising altitude.
You Are Now Free to Roam About the Cabin
The seatbelt sign has been turned off and you are now free to roam about the cabin. But at this point, why would you want to? Do you really want to get up and “roam” while your perfect match is seated next to you? I think not! You’ve already discussed meeting his parents, attending a destination wedding with him as his date, and buying for him that awesome giraffe toilet paper holder from Sky Mall Magazine. So what’s next?
Beverages are served, of course! When the flight attendant comes around to take your order, make sure that your target man orders his beverage first. Then, repeat what he says VERBATIM. This will make him believe that you both have so much in common. (Note: Boys like to believe in fate. And the mere fact that both you and him share the same taste in drinks, will solidify once and for all his budding feelings toward you.) Even if he orders a drink that you don’t like (such as tomato juice on the rocks) make sure to still order what he’s having.
Prepare for Landing
The plane is beginning to descend toward its final destination and you’ve just downed a disgusting drink. Although you desperately want to reach for that barf bag (which is also located in the seat pocket in front of you), don’t do it. (Note: Boys don’t like girls who puke on planes.) Instead, reach for your purse and pull out your business card. You want to make sure to properly exchange your contact information before the plane touches down on the tarmac. If you haven’t done so already, now is the time to find out where he works, if he’s on Facebook, and most importantly how’s he plans to get home from the airport. Keep in mind that exiting the aircraft can sometimes be chaotic (as items may have shifted during flight). Exchanging your contact information while still in flight ensures that your information will not get lost in all of the chaos.
Exiting the Aircraft
There are four exits on your aircraft; two in the front and two in the rear. Make sure that you exit the aircraft out of the same door that your target man has exited, as you do not want to get separated from your new love interest before you’ve had a chance to properly say your good-byes.
As you walk toward the baggage claim together (hopefully hand-in-hand) mentally prepare yourself for your good-bye with your target man. If there was something that you wanted to say to him while you were in-flight but never got a chance to say, say it now! This is your final time to make a lasting impression on him.
Last week, I hugged my target man/now plane partner good-bye and told him to watch out in the mail for that giraffe toilet paper holder that I would be sending him. And he told me that he couldn’t wait to fly with me to Australia.
This was clearly a match made in….the friendly skies.
As I drove home from the airport that night I couldn’t help but to think that I not only earned my wings on that flight but I also scored myself a boyfriend. And living the high life is something that Dean recommends to all single women.
So next time you board a plane, make sure that you are well-prepared. Print your boarding pass before you get to the airport, don’t take any liquids onto the plane that are more than 3-ounces, and most-importantly, when you spot your target man in the airport, remember to keep your head above the clouds.