Picture this: You’re on your first date with a guy at a wine bar, the waiter delivers the check to your table, and the nerves begin to take over your entire body as you contemplate what exactly your next move should be. Do you reach for your wallet in your purse? Do you put down your own credit card and offer to pay for your portion of the bill? Do you hand over a wad of cash to your date? Or do you simply do nothing at all and just wait for the guy to take care of the bill it its entirety? Throughout my many years of practicing dating, I have come across thousands of girls out there who have been struggling with this exact scenario. So many readers are constantly writing in and asking, “Dean, what exactly is the protocol for who should pay on a first date?”
As a world-renowned dating advice expert, I have years of experience in dealing with this type of situation. So to all of you girls out there who have been wondering how exactly you should be handling yourselves when the bill comes to your table, lucky for you, I have scientifically developed a fail-proof system for this exact scenario. My plan effectively forces the man to pay for the first date while eliminating any stress that you may be experiencing due to not knowing how to approach the bill. Allow Dean to put your mind at ease, once and for all, before you go out on your next first date.
First, it is important for all girls to recognize that it is absolutely 100% the man’s responsibility to cover the bill in its entirety on a first date. There are no exceptions to this rule. Ever.
Dating experts like myself, through years of study and observation, have determined that the “payment act” is the only accurate measure for truly understanding a man’s fundamental and inherent makeup. The “payment act” (a term that was invented exclusively by Dean) is defined as, “a man’s willingness to pay for the bill on a first date”. Scientific studies have shown that any man who expects a girl to pay for her portion of the bill, or worse off, who asks a girl to cover the entire cost bill, has something inherently wrong with him. This is a huge warning sign (or sickness) that indicates to us dating specialists that the guy is extremely cheap and furthermore incapable of being a good boyfriend.
So, now that you have a better understanding about who is responsible for covering the cost of a first date, it will be much easier for you to follow the simple rules of my plan.
Dean’s Fail-Proof Guide for Getting a Guy to Pay for the First Date:
Step 1: Next time the bill comes to your table when you are on a first date with a man, immediately ask yourself the question, “do I like this guy enough to want to see him again for a second date?”
If this answer to this question is “yes”, please proceed to step 2. If this answer to this question is “no”, please skip ahead to step 3.
Step 2: If you determined that you like your date enough to go out with him a second time, your next move is to perform the “wallet reach”. The “wallet reach” (which was created exclusively by Dean) is defined as, “the act of pretending that you are “reaching” for your wallet deep within the confines of your purse”. In performing this act, you want to make it appear as though you are really struggling to find your wallet in your purse. The “struggle” in this step is necessary because it is essentially buying you time. During this “struggle” phase, your date is going to take notice of your difficulty in finding your wallet. (Note: In order for this act to be most effective, it’s really important to make the struggle seem somewhat obvious.) As your date watches you fumble through your purse, he will eventually feel inclined to say, “Please don’t worry about it. I’ll handle the bill.” Keep in mind, nice men do not like to see girls in stress. As your date watches you “struggle”, he will automatically feel compelled to “save you”.
Step 3: If you have determined that you are not interested in going on a second date, there is no need to perform the “wallet reach”. In this scenario, my plan requires you to do absolutely nothing at all, (a.k.a. the “sit pretty” act). The simple act of doing nothing when the bill comes, gives off the impression to your date that you are a spoiled brat. And this is good! Bear in mind that when you’re not interested in a guy, it is important that he is not interested in you either. The “sit pretty” act will ensure that your date never contacts you again. He will be so appalled by your spoiled girl behavior that he will be determined to pay the bill as quickly as possible and end the date immediately. (Note: If you’ve never performed the “sit pretty” act before, it will be slightly uncomfortable for you. And this is okay and quite normal.) Like anything else in life, this is a move that will continue to get easier the more times you practice it. Also keep in mind, that even though it feels wrong to not offer to pay for any portion of the bill, in the end, you are really doing both you and your date a favor. Remember, the ultimate goal of step 3 is to get your date NOT to like you.
As you can see, by simply following the rules of my plan, you will never have to pay for a first date again! My plan also effectively reduces any stress that typically comes along with the uncertainty of not knowing what to do when the bill comes. Remember, going on first date with a guy should be fun…and free. So before you go out on your next first date with a guy, be prepared to either “struggle” or “sit pretty”. In either scenario, just knowing how to handle yourself on your date will most certainly put your mind at ease.
So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
(Note: Although it may come across from all of her extensive knowledge about dating and relationships that Dean is a doctor, bear in mind that Dean is not in fact a doctor in real life, nor does she play one on TV. She does, however, often like to pretend for the purpose of her blog, that she knows what she is talking about. While no official Ph.D. has been earned from any sort of accredited University, Dean plans to someday create a fake diploma to hang on the walls of her non-existent office.)