The Post-it Note. No one can deny that it’s kind of a big deal in today’s world. After all, it has had some great exposure in a number of popular TV shows and movies throughout the years. There was the famous “Michelle invented the Post-it Note” scene in the movie Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. There was the ever-so-popular “Carrie got dumped on a Post-it Note” episode of Sex and the City. And then of course, there was the romantic “exchange of wedding vows on a Post-it Note” scene between McDreamy and Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy last year. And as exciting as all of these Post-it Note events were to watch, I can guarantee you, that there is no better Post-it Note moment than the one that I experienced myself. Yup, it’s true! I, Dean, was asked out by a boy…via a Post-it Note.
Allow me to tell you about how this noteworthy event went down. It all started one cold evening in San Francisco after coming home very drunk from a Friday night happy hour. For several minutes, I just stood outside my apartment building, fumbling through my bottomless bag, desperately searching for the keys to my apartment. My neighbor, who had lived across the hall from me for over 2 years, and who had never once said hello to me, was also standing outside that night, puffing on a cigarette. He curiously watched me as I pulled items out from my bag, one by one, and laid them neatly in a row on the sidewalk. (Note: when you are drunk, it is especially difficult to find things such as keys in your purse. And supposedly, it’s easier to find missing items if you lay them out in front of you…on a sidewalk.)
For whatever reason that night, I found it necessary to call out loud the names of each of the items that were in my purse. “Gum, Tide Stick, Hand Sanitizer, Midol, Lip Gloss, Wallet….” My neighbor just stood there, un-phased, watching me (and listening to me) as I explained to him what each of the items was that were in my purse. It wasn’t until I pulled out from my bag a badly bruised banana (and called out to him that the item was a banana) that his curiosity peaked.
“What’s the banana for?” my neighbor asked.
“I have no idea where that came from.” I told him as I laid it on the sidewalk next to all of my other personal belongings. ”But I guess I have some breakfast now for tomorrow morning.”
Moments later, I found my keys. It turns out that they weren’t in my bag after all but rather in the left pocket of the coat I had been wearing that night. After finding them, I gathered all of my belongings and let myself into the building while calling out to my neighbor one last time for the night, “keys”.
Or so you would think! But the next morning, I opened the front door to my apartment…and there on the floor in front of me, was a box of Grape Nuts cereal with a Post-it Note stuck to it that read, “I thought you might like some cereal to have with your banana.”
I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing! My unfriendly neighbor had actually left me, Dean, a box of cereal and a Post-it Note! I knew right away that I wanted to give something back. So I did what any other girl would do in my situation and left him a bag of flour at his door with a Post-it Note that read, “A little flour for you to make me some pancakes sometime.”
All morning I had this feeling of excitement looming over me. I kept on opening the door to my apartment and checking to see if my neighbor had left me another note. But as the hours passed, I just kept on checking and waiting, and there were no notes (or cereal boxes) left at my door. It wasn’t until the nextmorning, after I had already written him off on my head that I would never hear from him again, that I had received another note from him. There, stuck to my door, was a series of numbered Post-It Notes! He thanked me for the flour (as any nice neighbor would) in the first Post-it Note and explained to me in the second Post-it Note that pancakes were not his “thing”. In his third Post-it Note, he explained that he was more of a “wine and cheese type of guy”. And, in his last Post-it Note, he asked me if I cared to come over for some wine and cheese. (In other words, Mixie, I was asked out on a date on a Post-it Note!)
I re-read his Post-it Notes a dozen times that morning but I still wasn’t exactly sure about how to respond. I mean, I have been asked out by dozens of boys before via email, text messages, voicemails, and IMs. But never in my life had I been asked out on a Post-it Note before! I mean what exactly is the Post-it Note protocol, anyway? I don’t think that this rule has ever been written before. Are you supposed to respond right away? Or does one apply the “wait at least 24-hours to respond” rule?
After much deliberation and some quick (and unhelpful) online research, I made the decision to wait at least 24-hours before responding to his Post-it Notes. After all, I think that no matter what means a boy uses to ask a girl out, it’s always important to portray to the boy that you are a busy person and that you are not just sitting around in your apartment all day, waiting for him to leave you a Post-it Note on your door. So I didn’t respond and I took a nap instead. After all, taking a nap is kind of like being busy. Right?
Apparently my lack of response somewhat freaked out my neighbor. The very next day, there were more numbered Post-it Notes stuck to my door. In the first note he explained to me that he had discussed our situation with his guy friends and they all agreed that he was being too forward by asking me over to his apartment. In the second Post-it Note he apologized for coming across too strong. In his third Post-it Note, he explained that he didn’t want anything more from me other than simply getting to know his neighbor. In the fourth note, he suggested that he come over to my apartment with a bottle of wine and some cheese. And in the fifth note, he suggested that I be in charge of supplying the plates and the wine glasses.
I knew this time around that I needed to respond right away to his Post-it Notes. Perhaps the 24-hour rule doesn’t apply to Post-it Note dating after all? (I’m thinking that I really need to do some research on this one as I am still not exactly clear on what the protocol is for Post-it Note dating.) I wrote him back immediately on a really cool Post-it Note that I happened to have stashed away in the junk drawer of my desk. The Post-it Note was lime green and had a cartoon of a white dog printed on it with a callout above it that read “Woof”.
In my note to him, I wrote, “Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I was VERY busy all day. I would be delighted if you stopped by tonight with some wine and cheese. And it just so happens that my plans for the evening (that I of course never had) just opened up.”
Later that day, I received a Post-it Note on my door that said, “Keep it down in there! Your dog is barkingvery loudly. I can hear his “woofing” from across the hall!” (You see that? My Post-it Note neighbor was funny! He actually told me a joke…on a Post-it Note!)
That night, my Post-it Note boyfriend did just what he wrote to me he would. He came by my apartment with a bottle of wine, some cheese, and a muzzle for my Post-it Note dog. It was all very cute, really…
But as Post-it Note guy and I talked in person, I realized fairly quickly that this guy was just not for me. He might have been great on paper (literally) but as he sat across from me in my living room, it was quite clear that he was simply not as impressive in real life. So there I was, sitting in my living room, trying to figure out how exactly to get myself out of this “sticky” situation.
You see, boys come at us from all different angles of life. Some boys call us. Some boys text us. Some boys instant message us. And some boys leave you Post-it Notes on your front door (and give you boxes of cereal and muzzles for your pretend dog that you don’t really have). But any way you look it at it, it doesn’t so much matter how it is that they get to you. It’s more important that when they do get to you, that you actually want them to stay. Because in the end, wouldn’t it be great to be “stuck on” boys that we actually like?
Now, here’s to actually finding these boys….